Mick McKellar Update -- Day +400

At times, it hardly seems it has been four hundred days since my blood and marrow transplant. At times, it feels like four thousand days...and I remember how I felt every second of every minute of every hour. Yet, I cannot remember the name of the Medco representative who called me less than two hours ago about a refill of my anti-cancer medication...

New Normals

Fatigue, fragility, and forgetfulness: These are concepts still very new to me. I used to sleep only 4 hours per night, now I need more and can easily cop a nap in the afternoon. Wee Georgie must have been a MacKellar, for none would describe any member of my family as fragile. Although I've lost bone mass (4% in one hip and 8% in the other), and I remain above normal for bone density, my health seems fragile and I must be very careful. Finally, my transition from exceptional recall to Swiss-cheese memory has been traumatic -- despite jokes about failing memory being normal for 62-year-olds.

The sudden GVHD rash of nearly a month ago now seems under control, but my numbers are all over the map...some up and some down. Much of this may be due to the ongoing changes in medications to deal with each new curve tossed my way by these red-neck Tennessee T-cells, wearing their miniature denim and flannel and tiny Doc Martins. As a friend told me, they know they are in the right neighborhood but they think they are in the wrong house. Every night, I pray they finally decide they are home and settle down to attacking foreign bodies and give up making renovations in my body.

In the still of the night...

In the peaceful dark of my room, however, I realize that despite all my complaining and kvetching, I am still here. I remain in full remission and my blood is still 100% donor -- the blood of my brother, Kevin.

I am still here, thanks to medical science, the power of prayer, and the Grace of God.

I have not written much and read little of late, because of problems with my eyes. Tonight's entry is short for the same reason.

Thanks to you all for your prayers and good thoughts. God bless you and good night,

Mick