Saturday, January 21, 2012
Mick McKellar Update -- Day +334
Today, I am officially an old fart. I've been on this planet for 62 years...well, there were a couple of times in the sixties that I'm not entirely certain I was fully here...but let's not go there.
More than once in the last couple of years, I nearly crossed the border into another world -- the next one. I am ashamed to say that it took those close calls to teach me the value of being 100% present in this world, and 100% in the present. Although I endeavor to live day-by-day, I still plan for the future and think how wonderful it would be to continue having birthdays for a long while. The future seems like a really interesting place, but I've learned the hard way that I cannot live there, and that it's not wise to invest too heavily in landscaping future real estate. I found the best definition of optimism and the core of a purposeful life in a conversation between two brothers in a pioneer family in Manitoba. Nelson Henderson told his brother (and author, Wes Henderson) on his graduation day: "The true meaning of life, Wesley, is to plant trees under whose shade you do not expect to sit."
Slowly, I have begun planting my weald of ideas, my grove of memoirs, my wildwood of poems and essays in the profound hope that one day a great forest of conception, perception, imagination, and faith will shade and shelter the homeland and province of my descendants' world. These are trees under whose shade I will never sit. I want two things: To live on in the hearts of my progeny, be they heirs of my body or kin of spirit; and to leave the world a better place for having lived in it.
I don't seek wisdom, for wisdom is merely a byproduct of embracing humility and applying common sense to daily living. Seeking wisdom, like seeking happiness, is a fool's errand. I write about me and about my life, because when I attempt profundity, I hear only the braying of a pompous ass.
I pray I will have time to plant sufficient seeds. My current condition appears to be good. I am no longer taking cyclosporin. As soon as I receive a more powerful anti-cancer drug, I will begin discontinuing some of my daily medications. I hope to receive my inoculations at the end of February or in early March.
Note: God granted me yet another miracle...it is after midnight and this is day 335 after my transplant. I need to sleep so I can scoop more snow in the morning, so...
God bless and good night,
Posted by Mick at 12:18 AM