April Fool!—Not!Waking up is such a simple thing. Most mornings, I slowly become aware of some slight change in my surroundings or a twinge when I roll over on my left arm—something small that cracks the shell of dreams and hatches me into another day. Since my last brush with the big sleep, my first thought is nearly always: “Thanks, God! I get another one!”
My favorite awakenings are on sunny mornings, when the newly risen, eastern sun-rays beam through my front window, illuminating all the tiny dust particles in the air, and promising welcome warmth on a chilly morning. My least favorite awakenings involve an irritating sound designed to pierce the bubble of my reverie and yank me awake—if not the dread clanging of my alarm clock, then other, more insidious sounds. Last week, I woke at 6:30 AM to the roar of my neighbor’s school bus engine and the whine of tires spinning on ice. Yup! His bus was stuck in front of his house (and mine) and he was rocking it. I still said, “Thank God!” But this time it was half for the new day and half that it wasn’t me out there fighting with the snow and ice.
Today’s awakening was special to me, because today is the 1,500th day since my Blood and Marrow Stem Cell Transplant (BMT). I started marking the days on my Google Calendar with Day Zero (February 21, 2011) and have tracked every day since. 1,500 days with friends and family. 1,500 days to dance my complicated minuet with T-Cells, tests, and toxic medications. 1,500 wickedly wonderful blessings and gifts…
Time is a strange and limited resource. It cannot be saved for future use; it can only be spent. It has become my full-time occupation to spend the time I have been granted as wisely and fully as possible.
My precious present is the Precious Present. Funny thing about living so much in the present -- it makes you happier. I’m not wallowing in regrets for opportunities lost or living among the shadows of the past. I’m not paying interest on debts that may never come due. The future will be, regardless of my fretting. Anticipation remains, but always tempered with the fine edge of uncertainty.
Life is good, and I am so happy to be here!
God bless and thanks to all who send their prayers and good thoughts!