How Do You Say No?
I have never been certain where they get our name, address, and phone number, but charities and non-profits from hospitals to sheriffs, and from anti-disease to religious organizations send mail and call us regularly. Our discretionary funds are limited and spoken-for. My mail rule is simple -- the glitzier the package, the less likely they are to get a positive response. Why give money to spend on extravagant advertising? We try to screen calls and politely decline. Mostly, the organizations comply and mostly they call during the day -- but not all.Once again, tonight, I was backed into a verbal corner by an unrelenting pitch person from a charity. This group has been calling for weeks and have tried at all hours, from early morning to mid-evening. I can see their name on the phone (and on the TV, if I am watching something at the time) and I've been screening those calls. Tonight, the call came in without the usual name and we were waiting for a return call from a relative, so it was answered and passed to me because the caller asked for me by name.
She seemed like a nice person, and she said something about my being hard to reach. I laughed and said that I am sometimes hard to reach on purpose. That was the first hint that this was not going to go well.
At this point, she launched into her pre-programmed spiel about the great need for research to help those afflicted with a certain condition. I could be a great help by contributing, and could they send me a reply card for a simple donation of $100.00? A payment schedule could be arranged. And...
At this point, I cleared my throat and politely suggested we stop the script at this point, because we have already made our choices for the charities and organizations we can help support, given we are on an income which is simultaneously fixed and shrinking...
As I took a breath (I have to breathe often because of my lung problem), she jumped back in to stress how important their work is and how flexible they can be on payments...
Gently interrupting, I spoke a little more forcefully, with my best wheezy voice, and said that we would not be taking on any more contributions at this time, but will keep them in mind for the future. I was going to say good night as it was well after 9:00 PM.
Well then! Could they send me a card to agree to a very small contribution of just $20.00? After all, this terrible condition could strike anyone in my family or friends and the cost of their medical needs and research...
Less gently, I interrupted again, and said that the cost of my medical needs is also increasing and my income is going down as my insurance costs are going up -- in fact I had just received a notification from my car insurance company of yet another rate increase. So no, I would not be adding an additional expenditure to our list of charities. I took a breath...
She came back with a reminder of how prevalent the problem is and certainly, I would be willing to sign a card for a minimum payment of $10.00 -- and maybe I should tell three people close to me that I love them for they are likely to get this problem...
Believe it or not, I growled.
There was silence on the line, whilst I counted to ten and tamed the beast that prednisone always creates -- it takes months for the pudgy face and belly and the junkyard dog to go away. After my count, I quietly said I was sorry, but no, there would be no contribution. I said "Thank you for cal..." and I hung up in the middle of my own sentence.
They never believe that you would hang up on yourself.
Mick
